Thirteen Reasons I Will Read Your Blog

Edition 26: In the two weeks since I posted 13 Reasons I Won’t Read Your Blog, I have trimmed the number of blogs in my feed reader to just under 500 by applying the 13 rules I came up with. Further pruning could be done by checking for dead feeds, but unless someone can suggest an automated tool that I can drop an OPML file into and let it check, I have better things to do than check them one by one.

However, the whole process has gotten me thinking about what it takes for me to add a feed, especially in light of how many I already read and how many I just pruned.

So, as a result, I give you thirteen reasons I will read your blog:

  1. You make me laugh: Never underestimate the power of humor. There is far far too little of it in blogland, so every bit of good humor I can find is worthwhile. Reposting jokes found elsewhere is not sufficient however.
  2. You Do Something Unique: I have enough art criticism and ‘happenings’ blogs to choke a horse, but not near enough blogs from actual working artists blogging about their work. Philosophers and Scientists posting original work on their blogs also count here; craft blogs do NOT fall into this category, unless you happen to be one of the few crafters leading the lemmings…
  3. You Live Somewhere Interesting: Which could be anywhere really, but most bloggers, from what they write, live in a bubble inside the internet. Pay attention to your surroundings. I document the mundanity of my life through photographs, and have a whole other blog about the part of London I live in. Make an effort to ground your blog in the reality beyond your children and pets.
  4. You Post Only When You Have Something To Say: Nestled in amongst the hundreds of other blogs I read, days, weeks, months can go by between posts from you and I won’t care. I probably won’t even notice. Post boring, meaningless crap and I will notice, and delete you. So have something to say – it doesn’t matter how long it takes. Oh, and never post apologizing for not posting. That’s grounds for immediate ejection.
  5. You Write For Yourself: I don’t mean that all of your posts are self-absorbed navel-gazing. There is a difference between your writing having an audience and writing for an audience. Write because you have no other choice, because the words, the thoughts, have to get out, never because you think your audience expects you too. See number four, above.
  6. You Have An Interesting Hobby: Like extreme ironing or something – anything but another damned “craft” blog full of cookie cutter knitted goods or dime-a-dozen scrapbook layouts full of vaguely creepy photo collections of your husband.
  7. You Are An Accomplished Writer: Not just a published author, though I do enjoy the blogs of many of my favorite fiction writers. If it is obvious that you care deeply about the words you are using; that you have labored over them, edited and revised them, I am far more likely to be interested in what you have to say.
  8. You Are Not Selling Something: Somewhere along the line the idea of proving your expertise in a field through writing about it on a blog became perverted by a bunch of talentless hacks into a never-ending cascade of the sort of self-promotional vomitus I expect to see in the telephone directory in smallish towns. Shut the hell up about your book, seminar or class and convince me you are capable of something other than promoting your books, seminars and classes.
  9. You Are A Maverick: You have a unique view of the world. You would expect this to be far more widespread than it actually is – bloggers seem to be much more similiar than many would like to think.
  10. You Are A Travel Punk, Backpacker Or Otherwise On A (Semi-) Permanent Vacation: It’s a big weird world out there, and I want to here more about it from people who are out to see as much of it as they can.
  11. You Go Beyond The Obvious: You think things through, you connect ideas across disciplines, you think in terms of fusion, not seperation.
  12. You Don’t Embarass Your Children Premptively: What all you mommy-bloggers don’t realize is that when your kids get to be 12 years old and all their friends stumble across your blog, they are going to use all the ‘cute’ things you wrote about to torment your little precious into depression and suicide.
  13. You Are A Complete Nutter: Conspiracy Theorists, Cryptozoologists, Secret Agents and Alien Abductees welcome here! Since moving from the States, I miss Coast To Coast AM, and only you can save me from the tyranny of neurochemical balance.

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Published:
3.9.07 / 9am
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